Julie Collins Chester, Cheshire United Kingdom Amazon Heart Thunder United States 2009 New Rider   Click Here to Donate Now!

In September 2000 two weeks after moving North and returning ‘home’ to Hoole in Chester, I found a lump. Two hours later I walked round to the Doctors but turned back at the door. Bad move. But sense took over when I got back home and I phoned and made an appointment. Dr Stuart’s caution saved my life. Five weeks later and 4 attempts to diagnose by touch, biopsy, mammogram & scan I was stressed and bewildered as the hospital tried to diagnose – it began to feel I was a participant in a game of Russian Roulette. Ms Redmond, my consultant, wouldn’t let go til she was sure what was going on so that evening she brought me back to the hospital to work with another consultant to dual diagnose using a probe and a scanner. I don’t think I have ever felt so alone – I really needed hugs that day. The official results came three days later on November 5th. By then I was expecting a positive result. People had stopped saying “You’ll be fine.”
When I received the results I don’t remember much but heard, “You need to come in next week.” I had to go home and tell my four children. They were amazing. Steven came home to look after my girls Anna & Esme.

At the Countess Hospital I had a lumpectomy or wide local excision, was strapped up and returned for the bandages to be removed and to get the results a week later. They had found further tumours and DCIS so it was back for a second operation - a mastectomy and reconstruction. I needed to meet the plastic surgeon. He walked in, looked at me, felt my breast and said, “Would you like a B, C or D cup.?” Many women’s dream! My breasts had shrunk after breastfeeding 3 children so the idea that in two weeks time I would both lose and gain a breast held mixed emotions. The Breast Cancer Nurse found someone who had gone through a similar op through an online charity and she reassured me and answered my questions.

This time I was put in a ward with 3 other women all having treatment for breast cancer. We told stories, laughed, cried and made it through the week. When I came out of the operation I thought an elephant was standing on my chest. I didn’t want to breathe but was advised I had to. Again I was strapped up but this time I was glad as it delayed the time I had to face seeing the results.

Next it was Ward 38 for a meeting with the oncologist and finding out about the next stage of treatment. I thought if things returned to normal as quickly as possible my children would be reassured. My ready made daughter Lisa had lost her mum to breast cancer when she was 4 years old, so the family were pretty silent. I was offered a choice of two different chemotherapy treatments. Because I only had one month’s sick pay due I had to be able to go back to work.

Just before Xmas my boss Sue came around and asked me what I wanted most. She helped me take Esme to get the biggest Xmas tree ever. I did think then it would my last Christmas. But it came and went and amazingly I’m still here 9 years on and still buying the biggest tree I can find to fit in the house without drilling a hole in the ceiling.
When I started chemotherapy – the steroids made me jumpy like Tony Curtis in ‘Some Like it Hot’, I was tired and as the sickness tablets made me sick I stopped taking them. I felt a bit of a fraud as I kept my hair. Chemo for me wasn’t as horrible as friends’ experienced but there have been long term side effects.

My children were around and somehow we managed as a family but I know it really worried them. The youngest had all kinds of pains and a Doctor at the practice linked it to the kind of symptoms children in Northern Ireland had experienced because of stress during the ‘Troubles.’

The College were kind to me and gave me two months sick pay and put me back on half time in February when I returned to work. I started back at James Lee House Salvation Army Hostel and picked up a few other classes I had been teaching before treatment. I finished chemotherapy in June and had a party to celebrate.

Five years of tamoxifen completed and I was signed off by Ms Redmond. I went to Oncology every summer for a check up but have been signed off by them too. It always reminded me of how close I am to being a patient again and I think about this poem in memory of a woman who died of cancer

Purple Hats
it begins
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day...
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted into a rose
before it melted in storage...
I would have talked less and listened more...
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet
was stained or the sofa faded...

I think that is what cancer has taught me - to get on with living for each day and to appreciate what you have, while you have it, and to enjoy how special it is. Cathy sent me a Sanskrit poem Look to this day………… which expresses just that.

A huge thank you to everyone. I have got through it all because of the skill and support of medical staff and the kindness, love and support of family, friends and neighbours. I have had a roller coaster journey. My greatest sadness was the impact it had on my children and losing touch with friends who felt they couldn’t be strong – they didn’t have to be.
On the positive side I lost inhibitions, faced new challenges and found greater acceptance.

When Phil sent me an e mail about Wendy doing this Amazon Heart Thunder ride in the States 14 months ago I sat and thought about four close neighbours and their families who were living with cancer. It inspired me to join and do something.
Everything was ready to go but in July I fell over walking backwards, broke my wrist. In honour of Amazon Heart I asked for a pink bandage. I couldn’t work but managed to get to V Festival developing a stance to ward off any one thinking of finding a companion to have a mud bath.

The consultant tried to tell me I wouldn’t make it. I thought I would be ok but the bandage came off the day I was due to fly out and my arm was in permanent raised mode and a million hours away from riding a Harley.

In September Megan had made the right decision for me and I just hoped I would get the chance this year.

It’s seven weeks away now in August 2009 and I am not walking backwards.
In 2008 it was amazing what people did to help raise funds. My lovely neighbours’ organised a launch for the fundraising activities in Marion’s garden.
Wine tasting event (Sam @ Scatchards) with raffle prizes kindly donated by local businesses in Hoole
Strawberry tea organised by Alison
Curry lunch organised by Helen

Random donations from people who wish they could do something like this too.
These events raised over £1300 but I would like to raise more. Please contact me if you want to do something or have a brilliant idea.

I am really looking forward to this ride but with some trepidation as I hadn’t ridden for 29 years since I was 6 months pregnant with Steven until two weeks ago. Having a Back to Biking day with Arrowe was the start of this journey. It is a personal challenge for me to get on a 883cc Sportster Harley Davidson and a dream to ride the West Coast with all the memories of the 60’s. But most of all I will be thinking of my family, friends/neighbours, Dr Stuart, Ms Redmond and team without whom, this would not be happening.

Having the support of other women who understand the personal journey we have all travelled will be sparkling! 3 British, 2 South Africans, 6 Australians and 17 Americans. They are crazy too, which is good. You’ll have to read the blog as we have the time of our lives in October 09.

Raising awareness and fundraising to support the aims of the charity Amazon Heart of peer to peer support is the biggest challenge now. So if you want to give a little or a lot that will be amazing. Don’t worry - it is not size that matters but the thought and your support.

Hit that button or put a coin in my pig!

Click Here to Donate Now!