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For a few moments, I thought-- I just want to live to become old; I want to see a beach; I want to ride a Harley; I want to get married and have a family--all things I feared I might not accomplish facing this life threatening disease at the age of 27. Then I thought "I want to do anything and everything I can to survive breast cancer"--this continued to be my ONLY focus for the next year. I just happened to feel a lump when I crossed my arms one morning. Was this a lump? It did not feel like a profound lump, and it didn't alarm me, but I asked a medical professional to check it later that morning. "I kind of feel what you are talking about. We can check it again in a couple of weeks, or I can order diagnostics. It would be very unusual, but not impossible, for a person your age to have breast cancer, but the choice is yours." I made the right choice, the safe choice--to have diagnostic testing done. I had to wait a couple of weeks for my mammogram and ultrasound appointment. During the wait, for a brief moment I thought "What if this is cancer, what if I am diagnosed with something--not now!! Not at 27, not days before Christmas!!" I also felt no need to worry myself or others when the likelihood of this being cancer was so low. I am 27. I have no family history. Eighty some percent of breast masses are benign. There is nothing to worry about. I will go to the appointment alone, get the good news and then later tell my mother that all is OK. No sense in worrying anyone. These were all of the things I told myself. The doctor began using 'concerning' terms. He knew from the ultrasound results alone without any doubt that this was cancer. I left the office that day, December 20, 2002, with a small incision from a core biopsy, an ice pack, and a booklet titled "Dealing with a cancer diagnosis". I gained much more than that over the days, months, and now (thank goodness) years to follow. My diagnosis, treatment, great support from friends, co-workers, family and especially my wonderful and amazing mother LaVerne Winn, have changed my life forever. These are the things that have made me grow and desire to accomplish more in life. Never just settle for being content. I chose to be aggressive in my treatment. Bilateral mastectomies, 4 months of chemotherapy, and reconstruction were my activities over the ten months following diagnosis of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, 2cm. I have no regrets about my course of treatment, and my surgeons lacked nothing to be desired--compassion, clinical skill, and kindness. Consumed by research, so I wouldn't have to put the responsibility of medical decisions on ANYONE but myself, I never once thought "Why me?" Instead, I thought "OK this is the situation, how do I want to handle it?" I have recently met the goal of seeing a beach, even went scuba diving to 90 feet--but the other goals are still there inspiring me to reach them. I had the opportunity to travel outside Oklahoma to Washington DC to lobby for breast cancer legislation shortly after diagnosis, and now the California coast on a motorcycle--sure, WHY NOT? I want to spread awareness about breast cancer issues facing young survivors, and put a face--my face--with this cause so that people realize that no one is immune. Some might be surprised to see a 5ft 2in 29 year old dental hygienist and breast cancer survivor from Oklahoma ride a Harley, and I hope they NEVER forget. Never wait to do things that matter, you might not have the chance later. "One of these days" may never come.
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