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I was 39. I felt a lump. I had a mammogram and ultrasound. I was driving to see the surgeon. I was behind a white car with the silver letters C-A-N-C-E-R emblazoned on the boot. I was teary, scared and puzzled. It took me several minutes to register that it was a white L-A-N-C-E-R. What followed? Surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, utter depression- in that order! I could manage the harsh treatment, surrounded by loving family and friends, and was able to continue working. But the emotions - those were another matter! I really could have done with a New Zealand adventure back then! My two daughters were aged 7 and 9, and in the midst of agonising over how they would react at each stage, they would make my husband and me laugh with an insightful comment or two: when I warned them in advance about chemo and its side effects, my older daughter said: ‘Well if you’re this cranky now, I’d hate to see what you’ll be like after chemo!’ And when I gently asked my younger daughter if there was anything we could do to make things easier for her at school, she said ‘can you write me a note that you didn’t have time to wash my school uniform because of the cancer?’ (the washing was one of the few things I was managing well!). Since then, laughter, tears and black humour have sustained us through several recurrences in my bones. After the first recurrence at age 42, we raided the video shop and watched every Monty Python tape. As the cancer keeps making inroads into my bones, the treatment changes, radiotherapy relieves symptoms, and it all feels like being on a roller-coaster and I can’t get off (and I don’t even like theme parks!). Having made the commitment to this trek, I then discovered more bony recurrences, one of which restricts my walking. Could I really go on this adventure, have radiotherapy that will hopefully relieve that symptom before April, and be on a fitness regimen at the same time - sounds truly amazon doesn’t it? Well I am giving it a go! Why I am I so passionate about taking part in this trek? All my life I’ve procrastinated about getting fit, doing things in fits and starts, but this trek gives me no excuse – I have a deadline and I aim to get there! I know that being totally absorbed in beautiful physical surroundings and in good and inspiring company is one of the best medicines. All the clichés about taking yourself out of your comfort zone are probably true- it’ll be good to challenge myself physically and personally by meeting a new group of women. I have friends with advanced breast cancer who would not be well enough to do this trek. I need to do it now, while I still can! I’ve participated in two public breast cancer events: the Mother’s Day Classic (an annual walk raising funds for bc) and the Mini-Field Of Women (BCNA’s ‘pink’ event where 11,500 women stood on the football oval in Melbourne to raise bc awareness). In both cases I was amazed by people’s generosity in donating money and elated by the mood and camaraderie on the day. I’m sure this NZ adventure will be exciting both personally and in terms of what a small group of women can achieve in raising awareness and funds. I hope you agree with me! Ilana Rischin
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